I hated it because the stress, workload, and pressure was killing me - and not just metaphorically.
Because I was reaching my goals, dreams and aspirations by sacrificing everything else I had to do it…
And now that I was finally where I had wanted to be for so long…
Now that I’d given up everything else to do it…
It was STILL slipping away through my fingers.
And this time, I couldn’t “outwork the problem” or sacrifice more - I didn’t have anything more to give.
So I did what everyone else out there does in this situation…
I started looking for a way out of this mess.
In fact, I became OBSESSED with it.
I looked everywhere...
Spent entire days, weekends, all my spare time...
And after a few months of obsessive searching...
I finally found it.
I stumbled upon a group of business leaders talking about how they were consistently hitting their goals at work even while they were hardly in the office at all.
They seemed so in control and confident…
They were authentic and comfortable with themselves, and when I met people from their teams it was clear how highly they were respected…
Even though they weren’t “working hard in the trenches” all the time like I was.
In fact their teams were so engaged, self-motivated, and high-performing that their companies continued growing consistently, month after month, year after year.
I couldn’t help but feel the sharp pang of envy every time I saw them.
But what really stood out to me…
Was how they were still living their own lives OUTSIDE their leadership role - they were travelling, they were growing families, they were in the best shape of their lives…
They had time to keep learning and growing in all kinds of ways…
They were doing exactly what I was trying to do - and what I had been so EXCITED to do as a leader - but they were doing it SUCCESSFULLY.
My first instinct was to disqualify myself: clearly they were different, or better, than me in some way…
More suited for these roles, or “natural-born leaders.”
But as I got to know them more, observed them more…
It became clear that most of them were just like me.
They also started out just as regular people, with drive and focus, who worked their way up to a leadership position.
They also felt nervous and anxious as they took on new responsibilities…
The ONLY difference was they had this deep belief in themselves and their team to weather and figure out anything.
It wasn’t arrogance, it was just a natural kind of confidence and self-esteem.
So they didn’t try to force themselves or their leadership to look a certain way…
And more importantly...
They weren’t afraid to set the boundaries they needed...
Ask for the help and input of their team to meet the goals of the business...
Or TRUST their teams to perform without trying to jump in and “save them” or micromanage them in any way.
They had a completely different mindset…
Directly opposite to everything I had tried and seen before…
And it changed EVERYTHING as far as their results, their health, and their happiness.
Each of them had a unique approach and relationship with their teams…
But even with all the differences - it was working.
And it was working REALLY well.
Seeing all this is when it finally clicked - and then it changed everything for me too.